You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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