I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
