I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
