but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
