You made me cry and you don't even care
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
