I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
