So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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