No period for spring break; use this wisely.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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