the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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