guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
