just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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