Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
