So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
