Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
