Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They took my balls.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
