Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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