You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
