we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
