I showed him my bush... on skype.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
