She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
