What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
