you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
