We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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