I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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