saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
