as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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