In America we eat man semen.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
