so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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