Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
