If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
