a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
this will be a night to untag.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
