I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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