strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Terrible idea I love it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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