Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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