I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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