it glows. i had to have it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
