So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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