Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
