I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
