I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
