U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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