All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please don't give away my fajitas
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
