Yo dont text me then not text me
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
