in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
