I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pants are for mortals
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
