"it" just moved
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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