Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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