Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
