:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
