WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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